We’re introducing a new, bi-monthly segment into our theater section at Scapi. Every other Thursday, we select a group of DIY theater artists, performers and creatives in Chicago and ask them a question completely unrelated to theater or performance. Welcome to Wacky Wednesday.
Take a look at this week’s question:
“If you were shrunk to the size of a pencil and put in a blender, how would you get out?”
Olivia Lilley; Creative Director at Pop Magic Productions, Incoming Artistic Director of The Prop Thtr, Writer, Director, Deviser:
“I would probably think I was dreaming and would desperately try and wake myself up.”
Mary Kate Young; Pop Magic Productions Board Member, DIY Creative:
“I have watched the “Pickle Rick” episode of Rick and Morty, so I am prepared for this question.
Okay. So. The scenario: In my apartment, we have a blender but no one uses it (What’s a smoothie? What is a vegetable? We don’t know). My nemesis obviously knows this, so the blender is a brilliant choice. My roommates are not be home and therefore cannot hear my cries. If they did hear me, they would brush it off as the voice inside their own heads, anyway, so no help there.
I would sing a quick rendition of “On My Own” from Les Miserables.
Then, I would sing a note that only dogs can hear. I have been a dog walker for almost a year now. I have learned the ways of the canines and I can communicate with them. I have a few, huge dogs that would work together to break into my apartment and knock the blender onto the floor. I would fall out of the blender and then they would gently put me on my bed. I would tell Franklin, a large Bernese mountain dog, to take the pencil on my desk to Regina. Regina is a witch who I borrowed a pencil from and never gave it back. I then tell Louie, a corgi puppy, to throw some Carole King on the record player. I wait for Regina to lift the curse.”
Avi Roque; DIY Creative/Actor:
“If there was any residue left in the blender, let’s say honey or fruit remnants, then I would use the stickiness to glaze the bottoms of the soles of my shoes, then walk up the side of the blender and out.”
Kevin Sparrow; Literary Manager for Nothing Without a Company:
“I’d wait till I got blended and use my bones to shatter the glass.”
Are you a DIY theater artist and/or performer who likes to answer strange and random questions? Email firstname.lastname@example.org with your interest to be featured on a Wacky Wednesday.
Danielle Levsky (she/her/hers) is the Theater Editor of Scapi Magazine. She is a feminist, Jew, poet, essayist, performance artist, and instructional designer. In addition to her work at Scapi, she has covered community news, arts reviews, lifestyle editorials, and cultural events for several publications. Between February 2018-2019, she completed a fellowship where she wrote a collection of community-engaged essays about her identity and heritage. She also writes typewriter poems on demand with Poems While You Wait. Follow her on her poetry Instagram to read some works in progress.